Human beings have a tendency of valuing themselves so much that they forget to appreciate others and assure them that they matter. Unfortunately, those people who do not take the time to see the good in others can spend years trying to impress them and never succeed because of their attitude. They do not comprehend that human beings have a craving to be appreciated and will cling to that one person who convinces them of their worth. We all need to embrace the achievements others by talking and behaving positively towards them. This is the surest tool for winning others and making them follow the leader.
Showing Interest in Others
On Monday my mother requested me to make a call to her friend who lives overseas and would be coming over to our place for a reunion. I was supposed to confirm that the family was ready for their trip and assure them that we were prepared to receive them, as everyone was waiting to host them at our home. My mother had been busy making their accommodation plans and could not even afford the time to make the call lest she would become tempted to chat on the phone and delay organizing important affairs.
I had never met this family before, and I had not much to share with them on the phone. Thus, I had to proceed directly to the question of whether they were set for departure that evening. However, since wanted to make friends with their children when they would come to visit, I realized that I had to show interest in them even before I set my eyes on them. Therefore, I chose to show a liking for them instead of making them develop an interest in me (Carnegie 58). When I called, the receiver was overjoyed and called my mother's name in excitement. Instead of telling her that it was not my mom on the line thus calming down her excitement, I chose to comment on her impressive voice. I let her know that her voice had suggested she was a happy person. I asked about the rest of the family members and told her that I was looking forward to receiving them and getting to know them better.
I ensured that throughout the conversation, I refrained from using "I", but instead used "you", which made the woman feel how much I value her family as well as their visit. I did not create an impression of what a deserving person I am, but made her feel how important she was to us. As a result, she felt valued, and when they finally landed at the airport, the woman and her three children asked about me even before they could exchange greetings with their host - my mother. They could not wait to get home and meet me. They also told mom that they had liked me from our previous day's conversation where I had poured my praises about their joyous personalities even though it was the first time I was speaking to them.
In the end, they liked me so much that by the time they left our home, my mother joked that she was losing her friends to me! I only used a few minutes of my time to establish a healthy relationship by demonstrating value for our visitors. I believe that I would never have won their friendship if I had spent an entire day trying to have them like me by talking only about myself (Carnegie 58). When we were going through the photo album, instead of quickly locating myself in the pictures, I pointed at the woman's eldest child and commented how handsome he looked as a toddler.
Winning the Interest of Others
Two days ago, one of my neighbors forgot her house keys in the office and realized the loss only when she her car was outside their gate. The traffic had been heavy and she felt that it would take her an entire evening if she chose to go back to the office. She thus decided to seek refuge in our house until her other family members brought a spare set of house keys. We barely knew each other and had only exchanged greetings occasionally. As a result, we were strangers, but she was a close friend to my sister, who was not available to keep her company. I wondered how to react to her, but I remembered that my sister would tell us that her friend loved politics. I decided to pick this topic and engage her in a conversation that interested her (Carnegie 94).
I told her how I felt Carly Fiorina is not the ideal Republican presidential candidate. Firstly, she had a history of failing the companies she had led, such as HP, where the firm lost half of its value. Secondly, Fiorina always became personal when criticized instead of resolving the issue professionally. By the time she left our house, we had exchanged contacts. She exclaimed to my sister that she was happy that the topic of politics had excited me. The guest was shocked when my sister pointed out that I hated politics and had only shown enthusiasm in the discussion because I discovered that was my guest's area of interest (Carnegie 95).
Getting Cooperation from Others
My parents have appointed me as the sales supervisor in our detergent manufacturing plant. I have been recording a decrease in sales for a while and had to devise a way out of this crisis. The salespeople appeared discouraged. Even though I had come up with the ideas of reviving the sales, I imagined that feeding people my own thoughts might not go well with the team members. Instead, I decided to give them an opportunity to let me know what expectations they had from me as the leader. Afterwards, I asked them to let me know the sacrifices I should expect from them in return (Carnegie 164). They pledged to be loyal, committed and innovative. Two days later, I recorded the highest sales growth in the past month. By allowing every team member to contribute in the decision-making process, I achieved collaboration within the team (Carnegie 164).
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In conclusion, I have applied three skills during the last week when trying to win people to follow me and build healthy relationships. For instance, I have become interested in selling people to themselves instead of selling myself to them and appreciating them instead of emphasizing my own importance. Secondly, I chose to discuss topics that others were interested in even if I did not find them interesting. Thirdly, I did not just sell my ideas to others, but incorporated them in the decision-making process where everyone made suggestions for a healthy collaboration.